Dating Tips: What Not to Say

Everyone gets nervous on a first date, but these lapses in judgment could get you a glass of wine in the face.

We’ve all been there: that nervous, clammy first date with the hottie sitting across the table. Not knowing anything about her, you struggle for words…conversation and the comment about how great you ex-girlfriend was in bed slips out. You probably just lost with Miss Right — even if she’s just Miss Right-Now. To make sure you keep you’re “A” game at all times, here are some things you should not bring up on your first date.

“I’ve been on that dating site for three years.”

What does that translate into for us?
• You’re a serial dater and therefore undesirable.
• You’re a loser and no one in real life would ever go out with you.
• You’re a loser and apparently have deep rooted issues that keep you hiding on the web.
Take your pick — none of them translate into you getting a second date.

“My ex is…”

Great in bed; sitting at the next table; an evil bitch. Women know you have a past and we are not going to hold that against you. What we will hold against you is if you keep bringing up our predecessors. It shows you can’t let go of the past or — ever worse — still live in it. It proves that we’re not as interesting as them and if it’s topped with extremely angry, bitter, or disrespectful comments, the red flag is going up and the date is going downhill fast. Bottom line: don’t mention the ex!

“You look…in real life.”

Shorter; skinnier; younger; prettier; better. No one wants to hear an off-handed compliment. They always sound like an insult — she hears that she looks bad in pictures or that she’s more disappointing in real life. Criticizing will get you nowhere on a first date except home in time to catch the late show. On the same note, never ask if anything is real, including the color of her eyes or the size of anything you find impressive. Not only will we write you off as classless and tacky, it may get you a glass of wine in the face.

“Do you have any…”

STDs; fantasies; sex toys. Whether you are asking to check out the goods for yourself later that night or are feeling guilty about your recently contracted herpes, never ask someone about their sexual history, preferences, or proclivity on a first date. This should also include number of partners, past sexual orientation, and other too-personal-for-the-dinner-table questions.

“I don’t get many…”

Dates; friends; job offers. If you haven’t learned this from watching the quarterback in high school, the confident guy has a way better chance with the girl. Putting yourself down won’t win you sympathy or earn you any points. Girls can sense when a guy has low self-esteem, no backbone, and is wishy-washy about everything. Feign confidence if you have to, but don’t go into the date a spineless little boy. First dates should always be fond memories; go forth as a man.

So, remember to censor yourself before you tell your date something you’ll regret later. Follow our tips and score a second date.

About the Author
Kimberly Fisher is a freelance writer based in Manhattan Beach, CA and Las Vegas, NV. She specializes in travel, lifestyle and fashion. Born with restless feet, she enjoys traveling and is always on the lookout for a new experience. So far she has traveled to over 37 countries and almost every US state. Her work has appeared in various English print and online media. Please direct inquiries to:

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Categories: dating do's don'ts

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